Missing one person..

I have to admit, I love living here. It is very peaceful in Deschutes Riverwoods. Trees every where I look and families of deer are plentiful. There is no traffic whatsoever, and the speed limit is 45 on our 2 lane hwy. Living in Bend has cause Phil and I to slow down and most importantly calm down. There simply is no rush. No wonder the people are so friendly! When we first moved to Bend Phil and I were almost put off by how friendly complete strangers were to us. "What's their problem" we'd ask. Like we were New Yorkers or something!

So now that we have been here over a year and know where everything is, like good chinese food or a good ale, there is one thing that makes this far from perfect.

Not having Marissa with us makes our family not so complete. Marissa came into my life when she was 7 yrs. old. Diana will be turning seven shortly and I can't help but think of all the good times I have shared being Marissa's step mom.
In reality Marissa is my first experience with kids. She tought me so much about what it means to parent.
I learned how to do her hair and spent lot's of time finding meal ideas that did not include onions and mushrooms. I became a great cookie baker and smoothie expert. I woke up in the middle of the night to give her cough medicine or would heat up the heating pad for her tummy aches.
Having Marissa in my life has made me a better mommy and person in general.

So now when I see teenagers getting off the school bus or hanging out downtown I can't help but feel a pang of sadness. Not having her close by to experience her milestones, not hearing the sound of music blaring from the bedroom, not hearing the phone ring for her really makes me miss her and cherish the time I have with her.
I know the years go by fast. I see it happening right now. I came across a few pictures of Marissa when she a little girl and love to look at these. I love these memories I have of the past. I now anxiously wait for more memories. Love you Marissa you sweet girl.